You make it look so easy. I'm sorry, I don't mean to deceive you.

I seek advice from others, but in the end I make my own choices. Sometimes I make good choices, but sometimes, I make not so good choices. In the end they are my choices, I reap what I sew. I am trying to make better life choices, but defining that, understanding exactly what that means, and then putting into practice are 3 totally different things. I am still on the learning curve, I imagine it is a lifelong curve at that.

Rachel told me yesterday that she had her first cup of coffee in almost 30 days. I thought about stopping at The Grind for a cup myself yesterday morning but didn't have time. She then told me it wasn't worth it and she felt horrible. I told myself at that moment that I was going to stay away from coffee because she is right, it is not worth it. Easier said than done. Today I was in Adrian for some work stuff and couldn't help but swing through Starbucks. Yummy, delicious Starbucks. Ohh sweet coffee. I couldn't have been more wrong on that call. Let's just say it has taken me 3 hours to blog this because my tummy is cramping up and I keep running to the bathroom, I have a headache from the caffeine, and my brain is scrambled ADD eggs. Coffee you are my new enemy. Yes Rachel, you were right, it was SO not worth it.

I am drinking enough water and eating enough green veggies to support a small elephant, so I can only hope it can repair the damage one cup of Joe did to my system. If I am going to feel sick I would rather have a beer, ya know?

I worked out pretty hard yesterday, it felt amazing. I need that endorphin rush to push me through the rest of my day. I lifted moderately hard, just my upper body though(legs are today). I ran, I rowed, and I EFX'd. Basketball was a success last night as well. I didn't have to ref, but I was able to play around a little bit and was pulled aside by 2 different parents at 2 different time to tell me what an awesome job I did Monday night referring. They were impressed by my knowledge of the game, and my desire to teach the kids as much as officiate. I laughed on the inside, if they only knew my credentials. If they only knew what kind of player/coach I was in my glory days.... But compliments always feel good, and are always welcome!

I swam last night. My goal was 1500m. My friend Teresa wasn't there so I had to swim alone. Since I didn't have anyone to chat with I figured why stop swimming? So I swam. And I swam. And I swam some more. I swan until I could no longer swim. Secretly I was racing an older gentleman who was in the lane next to me. He was fast and smooth, and kept going strong. He beat me by at least 200 if not 300 meters. He asked if I was a competitive swimmer, seriously. I laughed to myself. I guess my swimming is improving! I feel as though I am on the right path as far as my swimming is going, so his compliment was nice to hear. The running on the other hand is a slow process. I need to improve my times, improve my stamina, and improve my form. Oh yeah, and probably buy new shoes.

Today I am hitting the gym, lifting lower body and cardio. Basketball tonight. My energy is still high, as are my hopes. I know my life is good because I have 2 problems. My first problem is that too many people have bought me a massage for Valentine's Day. Having too many Valentine's is a wonderful problem, as is having too many massages scheduled. My other problem is that I bought a kick ass bracelet. I am in love with it. It was black and light blue when I bought it, now the chlorine has turned it navy blue and white.

http://www.lala.com/#search/lifestyles%20of%20the%20rich%20and%20the%20famous

In honor of those 2 things being my problems, listen to this song. (Yes, this is a play on yesterday's post when I wrote about all the complaining people do.) I am not complaining. Things are going well for me, or maybe I am just seeing things through my rose colored glasses. But please, don't be fooled by my optimism. This is not easy. I would hate for my anti-misanthropic way to leave you believing that any of this is easy. It is actually some of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life. I am just living on my endorphin high, having hope, and trying as hard as I can to be better. Believe you me, I could tell you about how bad I want a pizza, a whole pizza, not just a slice. I could tell you about how tired I am, how sore I am, and many other things, but what's the point. You are all intelligent enough to know that this is not easy, right? Meredith Grey once said, (or Harvey McKay once said) "Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

Inside all of us is HOPE.